I got my first visitor this week, which happened much faster than I expected. I figured it would take my friends months to miss me enough to make the trek out here, let alone have the money to do so. But my friend Moe is one responsible chick, so she made it out before I even hit the three month mark. We packed a lot into the 2 days she was here. I'm so happy that she came out - not only did I miss her, I got to do a bunch of touristy things that I'm not sure I would have gotten to otherwise.
She arrived late Tuesday night, and I took her to one of my favorite local bars for some drinks. On Wednesday, we went up to the hills so we could see the city and the Hollywood sign - something Moe had on her must-see list. After getting completely lost, BRO finally found an awesome scenic overlook. To get there, we had to drive on those really winding roads with no guardrails that you see in movies. BRO did a great job, but I was still in the backseat scratching nail marks into his seat.
After that near-death experience, we headed out to Santa Monica Pier. We spent a few hours there, frolicking in the ice cold ocean and walking around the pier. BRO and Moe rode the Ferris wheel and got ice cream, while I followed them around, holding purses and snapping photos like their mother.
We decided to head home and freshen up before going to downtown Hollywood. BRO opted out of coming to dinner, so Moe and I went alone. The Garmin only got us slightly lost (only 20 minutes of driving around aimlessly - thanks, Garmin). We parked in a random parking lot and started walking around Hollywood Boulevard, checking out the Walk of Fame along the way. We found a huge Irish Pub called Dillon's to have dinner at. The place looked cool, but we were unable to fully experience it, because we were sat on the 2nd floor, off to the side, in an alcove, in a dark corner. Whatever, bitches. Sorry I was wearing a hoodie, ok? For obvious reasons (being that this is LA, after all), the waitresses were all dressed like variations of Gothic/Slutty Schoolgirls. I always love it when restaurants allow their servers to wear their ass-length hair down. I can't tell you how excited I was to inspect each forkful of fettuccine to see if a foot-long bleached strand was hanging off of it.
After our reasonably priced but underwhelming dinner, we decided to hoof it down to Grauman's Chinese Theater. It took us about a half hour, but it was a nice walk. We saw some famous restaurants and clubs along the way, and 3 different Scientology centers. (We only got offered one "stress test," though, so that's good.) I was embarrassed when I expressed my desire to live in this really cool looking building, only to pass by and see the word "Scientology" in offensively large green letters down the side. Once we reached the theater, however, the entire area was closed off for a film festival. We hung around across the street for a few minutes, staring at the building in hopes a celebrity would come out. No one did, so we headed home.
The next morning, I had to work really early. When I got home, we started getting ready to go see Conan's show. (!!) BRO dropped us off in a parking garage outside Warner Brothers Studios around 1:45pm. Once we got there, we had to check in and sit around for a while. They had airport style security go through our bags, checking for various weaponry and cameras. (Although with the way they were acting, I'm pretty sure finding a camera would have drawn a harsher response than if they had found a grenade). Then, they took away our cell phones, which I was not cool with at first. They gave us coat check style tickets and vaguely stated that we should come find them when the show was over.
After waiting in the parking garage for about an hour, they lined us up and we headed across the street to the actual WB lot. Once there, we had to get in line again - this time, it felt like forever because they stuffed us in there, gut-to-butt. Panic began to set in, but didn't stick around for long. I was going to see Conan, for God's sake. No panic attack could quell my excitement. We stood there for about 20 minutes (felt like 2 hours) - then they finally took us to the actual studio. I'm not sure what I thought it would be like, but I always pictured it to be...I don't know, a big room? This was literally a fancy warehouse. The minute you enter, you go through red curtains (Moe and I insist that they are the very same ones that Conan made in his new Amex commercial) and up a short flight of stairs. At the top, you're there - the audience seats and the "stage" are right in front of you. Along the "ceiling" are rows and rows of lights, cameras, and flat screen TVs. This may all sound obvious to some of you, but it was my first time on any type of set or studio, so it was pretty cool for me.
They sat us in what I thought to be great seats - we were 2 rows from the back, but the audience section isn't all that big, so we could see perfectly. (Except for Moe, who was right next to a guy controlling a massive spotlight, but she could still see Conan's desk.) Within 10 minutes, the warm up guy came out to address the crowd. He told some jokes, talked to a few audience members, and gave us some tips on how to be a great studio audience. (ie: Don't yell anything out - it's annoying; Pay attention to the applause sign.) He was in the middle of talking to another audience member when a production guy came out and said they were ready. Andy Richter came out, bantered a bit with warm up guy, and introduced the band. The band played a few songs, interacting with the audience by making them sing a few lyrics. (Moe and I were squirming - we did NOT want to participate. Thankfully, they didn't come to us.)
Then, moments later, the studio went silent. The theme music began. The applause sign started blinking. Andy announced the guests, and then Conan. And there he was. I've seen him live 3 times now, and I'm still like a 10 year old at a Bieber concert every time. I'm sure 70% of the "woos" and screams you heard if you watched were from me. My hands literally still hurt from clapping so much.
I thought that the taping would take more time - I assumed they would have to pause a few times for editing, or maybe Conan and/or Andy would crack up and have to start a joke over. That was not the case - what you saw on TBS last night was EXACTLY what happened in front of us. No editing. They run a really tight ship there. During the "commercial breaks," the band would keep playing the same song and Conan would wander around, talking to Andy or his long-time producer, Jeff. When the guests came out, he chatted with them during the "breaks." He never left the stage, not even for a second to go backstage.
Julie Bowen was one awkward asshole, though. I'm not sure if you caught the show, but she would not stop moving her legs around (because she obviously wanted people to keep noticing them), and during the breaks, she stared at herself in the monitor constantly. But her story about her kids was pretty funny - I just wish she would have calmed down a little. I almost thought she was on something.
After the taping finished, the guests, Andy, and Conan stood around talking for a few minutes. As they all turned to walk backstage together, Conan turned around and thanked us for being a great audience. I like to think he meant it and that he doesn't say that every night. I'm delusional, I know - but hey, at least this time, I'm not insisting that we had copious amounts of eye contact! (IT DID HAPPEN AT HIS NYC SHOW.)
I took Moe to the airport this morning - a short but busy trip. It was great to see a familiar face, and I hope to see more in the future. (Hint hint.) And I plan to go back to Conan as soon and as often as possible. If that gives my friends some incentive to come visit, then so be it. I'm hoping to go to the show so often, the security guards and show runners start to know me by name. And then one day, one of them will joke, "you should just work here." And I'll scream and beg and carry on and offer favors (of the errand and sexual variety).
And that is how I will eventually be banned from attending future tapings of Conan.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Almighty Buck
It's really funny how everyone uses the same joke to make themselves feel better in a nudge-nudge kind of way. It may start differently, but it always ends the same: "Well, maybe I'll win the lottery! Har dee har har!" What's sad is, obviously we're not joking. Everyone's lives would be different with money. Whoever said "money can't buy happiness" is a complete idiot. If I had money, I'd be the happiest person on the planet, because I wouldn't have to worry. Worrying is what gets me down. Worrying leads to stress, which leads to anxiety, which leads to emotional breakdowns.
Imagine, if you will, that you were a celebrity. Not a crazy celebrity, like Britney Spears. Just a normal, Liam Neeson-like celebrity. One who is famous, but not for having emotional meltdowns. Rich enough to be set for life, but not in rehab for the 6th time. Imagine being able to buy whatever car you wanted, whether it be a BMW (are those the really expensive ones?) or a Ford Escape. Think of how amazing it would be to scoff at your electric bill. Going out to dinner with friends 3 times a week? No problem - drinks on me!
Now imagine a normal person. Think of how they scrape together pennies every week to be able to pay for groceries. Imagine not knowing how you're going to make it through the cold months when you can't afford the gas bill. What would happen should you get sick, or you got laid off, or your car broke down? I don't mean people who are drains to the system - I mean honest, hard working people who can barely make ends meet and can't afford the decent things in life, let alone the finer ones. I mean the people who have the best intentions, but whose luck just isn't as good as others.
What those people wouldn't give to have money. And I'm not talking about Tom Hanks money. $5000 would change these people's lives. They could stretch two grand for months. They know the true meaning of budgeting - unlike Lindsay Lohan, who can go on a day-trip to Forever 21 and blow $250 on socks. Seriously. Can you imagine? It's sad, really.
I've always wished for a world where money wouldn't make you or break you. I've longed for a life where I wouldn't have to worry about my next electric bill payment or the upcoming rent. I can't imagine what it must be like to go to a mall and spend blindly until you have an entire new wardrobe. Is it jealousy? Hell yes, it's jealousy. I'm as green-eyed as they come. Snooki charges $20,000 for an appearance at a nightclub, but I've basically lived off of Campbell's Soup for three months? How is this right?
I don't want to throw myself a pity party. My mother has been absolutely wonderful to us since we've moved to LA. She moved us out here, paid for our airfare, and outfitted our apartment with whatever we needed. She's paid our rent, sent us cash, cosigned our lease, and wired us deposits. She bought my brother a car. She's sending my step-father out to move us 1.7 miles away from our current apartment, because we can't afford to move ourselves. Does that sound like a joke? Sadly, it's not.
LA is a tough town. I felt like I was on the usual path - Girl moves across the country with a few hundred dollars. Girl is average looking with awesome customer service skills. Someone will see girl's potential eventually. 2 1/2 months later, girl has 2 jobs. That's the norm - even better than the norm, from what I've heard. But things just keep popping up. And as positive as I try to be, I can't deny the fact that this is all about money. 20 minutes of Julia Roberts' salary would set me up for 5 years. It's sickening.
But I am still grateful. I'm grateful for my wonderful friends, who have been keeping in touch with me since the move and are always available to give advice. I'm grateful to my family, for their encouraging words. I'm grateful for my health, when not all of us have such luxuries. And most of all, I am grateful for my mother. Without her generosity and support, I would have been home 2 months ago. I'm not sure how much more she has in her, but I'll be thankful for every minute she spends listening to me complain, and every dollar she sends me for food. I only hope I can offer that kind of help to my children someday. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you, Mom. You are amazing.
But back to my original thought...Isn't it crazy that $5000 could change your life? I'll bet Oprah Winfrey spent that on dog food yesterday. So, while I'm not in the best place financially, I implore you to visit my other blog and donate to my cousin and his family. I think of how much I complain that I can't go out every weekend - and then I think of my cousin, Joe, whose family has given up everything to sit with him day after day. And of course, there is nowhere else they'd rather be. But things will add up eventually - and it'd be nice to give them a little cushion. Think of how far a few dollars can go. I hate to put this on you, dear friends. But they deserve it.
http://www.prayersforjoep.blogspot.com/
Spread the word. Every little bit helps.
Imagine, if you will, that you were a celebrity. Not a crazy celebrity, like Britney Spears. Just a normal, Liam Neeson-like celebrity. One who is famous, but not for having emotional meltdowns. Rich enough to be set for life, but not in rehab for the 6th time. Imagine being able to buy whatever car you wanted, whether it be a BMW (are those the really expensive ones?) or a Ford Escape. Think of how amazing it would be to scoff at your electric bill. Going out to dinner with friends 3 times a week? No problem - drinks on me!
Now imagine a normal person. Think of how they scrape together pennies every week to be able to pay for groceries. Imagine not knowing how you're going to make it through the cold months when you can't afford the gas bill. What would happen should you get sick, or you got laid off, or your car broke down? I don't mean people who are drains to the system - I mean honest, hard working people who can barely make ends meet and can't afford the decent things in life, let alone the finer ones. I mean the people who have the best intentions, but whose luck just isn't as good as others.
What those people wouldn't give to have money. And I'm not talking about Tom Hanks money. $5000 would change these people's lives. They could stretch two grand for months. They know the true meaning of budgeting - unlike Lindsay Lohan, who can go on a day-trip to Forever 21 and blow $250 on socks. Seriously. Can you imagine? It's sad, really.
I've always wished for a world where money wouldn't make you or break you. I've longed for a life where I wouldn't have to worry about my next electric bill payment or the upcoming rent. I can't imagine what it must be like to go to a mall and spend blindly until you have an entire new wardrobe. Is it jealousy? Hell yes, it's jealousy. I'm as green-eyed as they come. Snooki charges $20,000 for an appearance at a nightclub, but I've basically lived off of Campbell's Soup for three months? How is this right?
I don't want to throw myself a pity party. My mother has been absolutely wonderful to us since we've moved to LA. She moved us out here, paid for our airfare, and outfitted our apartment with whatever we needed. She's paid our rent, sent us cash, cosigned our lease, and wired us deposits. She bought my brother a car. She's sending my step-father out to move us 1.7 miles away from our current apartment, because we can't afford to move ourselves. Does that sound like a joke? Sadly, it's not.
LA is a tough town. I felt like I was on the usual path - Girl moves across the country with a few hundred dollars. Girl is average looking with awesome customer service skills. Someone will see girl's potential eventually. 2 1/2 months later, girl has 2 jobs. That's the norm - even better than the norm, from what I've heard. But things just keep popping up. And as positive as I try to be, I can't deny the fact that this is all about money. 20 minutes of Julia Roberts' salary would set me up for 5 years. It's sickening.
But I am still grateful. I'm grateful for my wonderful friends, who have been keeping in touch with me since the move and are always available to give advice. I'm grateful to my family, for their encouraging words. I'm grateful for my health, when not all of us have such luxuries. And most of all, I am grateful for my mother. Without her generosity and support, I would have been home 2 months ago. I'm not sure how much more she has in her, but I'll be thankful for every minute she spends listening to me complain, and every dollar she sends me for food. I only hope I can offer that kind of help to my children someday. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you, Mom. You are amazing.
But back to my original thought...Isn't it crazy that $5000 could change your life? I'll bet Oprah Winfrey spent that on dog food yesterday. So, while I'm not in the best place financially, I implore you to visit my other blog and donate to my cousin and his family. I think of how much I complain that I can't go out every weekend - and then I think of my cousin, Joe, whose family has given up everything to sit with him day after day. And of course, there is nowhere else they'd rather be. But things will add up eventually - and it'd be nice to give them a little cushion. Think of how far a few dollars can go. I hate to put this on you, dear friends. But they deserve it.
http://www.prayersforjoep.blogspot.com/
Spread the word. Every little bit helps.
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